


before/after

by wonderfulwizardofthozz



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, I made myself want to cry yet again, I'm so sorry, Longing, Metaphors, Other, Post Season 8, Why do I do this to myself, whoops it's sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-11
Updated: 2019-02-11
Packaged: 2019-10-26 04:21:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17738906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wonderfulwizardofthozz/pseuds/wonderfulwizardofthozz
Summary: With every before, there comes an after.Keith finds himself in the middle of them on a rare night with Lance.





	before/after

**Author's Note:**

> for my server family — love you all <3

Keith is well-versed in  _ befores _ .

 

There was a time in his life, however brief, before his mom left. Before his dad died. Before Shiro went missing. Before they found the lions. Before they formed Voltron for the first time. Before he joined the Blade of Marmora. Before he almost sacrificed himself. Before he found his mom. Before Earth was invaded by the Galra. Before they almost died for the umpteenth time in their short lives, this time for Earth.

Before the war was over.

Before...before Allura was gone.

Before Lance quit smiling with his whole being and lighting up every room he even thought about being in.

Before everybody went their own separate ways like none of it had ever happened.

And that wasn’t really true or fair to the team; they were all doing things they loved, for the most part, but the thing about  _ befores _ is that they always have  _ afters _ . And, right now, Keith is living in another  _ after  _ that he never expected: after he realized that he’d do almost anything to see Lance smile again the way he used to when they were dumb kids.

Keith finds it easy to make the rest of the former paladins smile. Give Hunk a new recipe to try and let him know that he’s the only one who can do it, he’ll beam the entire way to the kitchen and back again. Ask Pidge to explain her latest work and she’ll go on for hours if you let her, a grin on her face the whole time. Tell Shiro a joke and tease him about Curtis and he’ll laugh like he hasn’t laughed in  _ years _ . Coran, though not a paladin, is almost always in an amicable mood.

Lance, though?

Keith can tell he’s still struggling, even after all this time, and it’s because he hasn’t had a lot of  _ afters _ the same way Keith has, piloting giant robot lions notwithstanding. And, really, Keith just wants Lance to be happy again. To get to that acceptance stage of grief and move on the way Allura would want him to. What does it matter if he might have a few ulterior motives? Keith thinks Allura would want the best for Lance, and what’s best is not dwelling on it so much.

So, on this rare night that Keith gets to spend on Earth instead of being out and about in the vastness of the universe and doing humanitarian whatever, they’re laying in the purple juniberry flowers, staring at the stars in relative silence.

“Where do you think Allura is now?”

Keith almost looks over and stares at Lance—this is the first he’s ever heard him say anything about it after that initial shock wore off. Somehow, he regains his composure enough to say, “You see Cassiopeia up there?”

“Yeah.”

“I like to think she’s around there since she’s technically a queen.” Keith knows it’s not anywhere near close to what Lance needs, but he doesn’t have the right words. At least, he doesn’t know if they’re the right words even if they’re the truth; Lance still hurts, and he doesn’t need anything else confusing him.

“She’s not vain like Cassi though. You think maybe she’s in Andromeda instead? Or the Pleiades?”

“Maybe she’s her own constellation.”

“Yeah, maybe. She deserves that.”

“She sure does.”

Keith reaches over and holds Lance’s hand when they get quiet again. He didn’t deserve for her to leave. Out of everybody on team Voltron, Lance loves the hardest. He loves with his whole heart, even still, and he always has. Lance feels smaller and dumber than he really is, insecure though he covers it well (but not as well as he used to; Allura left a lot of cracks behind, and not just in Lance).

And, on top of all that, Keith almost bursts because he wants to say,  _ Lance, you are all the stars to me. We are binary suns, destined to collide and steal each other’s breath. I am the tides and you are the moon that moves them. We’ve seen countless galaxies and there are countless more we haven’t seen, but that doesn’t matter because you are the center of all of them. You are the light matter that makes the universe beautiful. _

But Keith doesn’t say it yet.

Lance is still healing from the loss of the dark matter that held him together.

And that’s okay with Keith, really. Even though it’s  _ after _ he knows he’d do anything for Lance, it’s  _ before  _ he can say anything, which he’s not used to, but he can wait until there’s another  _ after  _ just this once.

 

After all, sometimes it’s just enough to hold someone’s hand and stare at the stars.

**Author's Note:**

> I legit wrote this in like two hours and it hasn't been beta'd, I'm not sure what I was thinking. Anyway, this is for my vld server peeps: I love each and every one of you so much, words cannot properly articulate that. Y'all are the best <3
> 
> (as for the rest of you, if you'll leave a comment letting me know what you think, that would be appreciated!)
> 
> xoxo -wwot


End file.
